#LauraRage

and just go, “THANK GOD I AM NOT WITH YOU ANYMORE, YOU PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE!”?

Or is that just me?

(Source: laurakiillz)

I am very excited to with with this musician. His lyrics are my life. Lol. 

(Source: laurakiillz)

I just have a way of ruining everything good that I have. It never stops. 

(Source: laurakiillz)

all I really want in life is someone who will nerd out over the Matrix with me.

(Source: laurakiillz)

why people tell me that expressing the things that irk me about the world are a waste of my energy. I am writing these irritations down for myself and myself only. Yes, you can read them too, but I am not doing it for you. 

Being mad about things I can’t change is exhausting, but I have been exhausted like this my entire life. I have ALWAYS and will FOREVER BE mad about things that I dislike about the world. And putting them down, whether it is typing them or writing them or saying them is a way to take the exhaustion and put it to the side.

To you it may be a waste of energy and time, but to me it is a mental release of anger that I cannot control. I realize I have some issues that I can probably get help for, but I think I am doing just fine by getting it out of my system somewhere. So stop telling me the obvious and explain how I am stupid and wasting my time.

You do not understand how my mind works or what works for me. I am ALWAYS angry, much like the Hulk says, alright? Let me rant and leave me the fuck alone! 

I am ranting about people lecturing me now. I fail. 

(Source: laurakiillz)

is when people criticize the way you work out/eat/exercise. Not only is it ignorant since you don’t know how my body works, but it is also just plain rude. Why on earth would someone feel the need to shit on all the things you work hard for?

Today, I posted a photo of my success on the treadmill. I was very proud of how well I had done. I had run over 6 miles, burned over 1.3k calories, and ran uphill almost 3 thousand feet. This is an awesome feat for me since I have been working at running for a very long time and am constantly looking for new ways to challenge myself. This was definitely a challenge.

I also am in the process of losing some weight I have gained from being lazy which I am now only 8 pounds over instead of 10 because of my exercise. But on this photo, an acquaintance of mine felt the need to comment and begins to explain to me that I don’t need to run that far and that running half that would’ve been more than enough. I explain that I run excessively because I’ve built up tolerance to shorter distances and I run a lot to burn off the fatty food I like to eat.

He starts going on and on about what he’s been doing and how I should simply eat better and blah blah blah blah blah. Shut up! I honestly do not give a flying fuck what you do. I know what works for me and I have known for over two years. I LIKE to run six miles! It makes me feel good! I LIKE to eat fatty food. And I FEEL like running harder, longer, and farther is a good enough trade off to still be able to eat those things. I have a long and extended condition with ear problems that is actually linked to foods I like to eat because constant eat problems effects taste buds so food that is fried or very buttered/salted is more appealing. It’s very odd, but I read an article about it with my mom at one point. I would die without fatty food.

You do not know how my body works, nor will you ever. I’ve successfully lost 54 pounds in less than 6 months (about a year and half ago) by doing what I am doing. I count my calories and I run a fuck ton. So you can just shut up and stop telling me how I should be living my life. You’re not helpful. You’re just annoying and rude.

(Source: laurakiillz)

accidently shop on Forever21 Canada and then panic when I couldn’t ship it to America and then try to shop on F21 America and realize they have nothing in my size and then talk to my lovely Canadian friend and ask if I could ship it to her house and then send it to me because it was such a great deal…

no.

That would be ridiculous. 

(Source: laurakiillz)

I am sick and tired of people who think that I am stupid. I get it enough at work, alright? I get it. Just because you don’t agree with what I have to say to you, does not make me a stupid person.

I am a very logical person. I have only made a few impulsive decisions in my life. FEW. I always think long and hard about the consequences of my actions before actually going through with a plan. That is how I have succeeded thus far. So when you tell me your current situation, I do the same for you.

I flesh out the good, the bad, the unlikely, the plausible, and then I come up with a course of action for you which you do or do not choose to take. It is up to you. But I hate when people give me their problems and then refuse to listen to what I have to say. They ask me what I think they should do, I tell them, and then they do the exact opposite. Then after the fact, they come crying to me saying, “I really should have listened to you, Laura.” 

Yes, yes you should have. I have tried to prevent people from making ridiculous decisions, but I know that you cannot help someone who refuses to help themselves. But I am just tired of being the one NO ONE LISTENS TO UNTIL AFTER THEY MAKE A MISTAKE! Why do you even consider me a friend if you completely disregard EVERYTHING that I say. It makes no sense at all. If you constantly tell me that you should’ve listened to me, then how come you still don’t after all this time?! I don’t understand.

I also find it frustrating when people try to hide things from me. I AM ME! I am one of the most observant people when it comes to small details around me. I can tell when you’re hiding something or when you’re holding back from telling me the truth! I CAN READ YOUR FACE AND BODY LANGUAGE! It’s stupid! I find it funny that you think I am stupid enough not to know what is going on. 

You’re not a good liar. You suck at hiding things. It’s sad that you think I’ll be mad if I find out what shit is ACTUALLY GOING ON! You know what makes me mad?! The fact that you just ASSUME I’ll be angry at you. You are an adult who is fully capable of making your own choices in life. If I don’t agree with them, that’s fine. I just want to know the truth! I am not going to judge you for living your life the way you want! I encourage that. I am, however, going to judge you for being a shit friend who refuses to tell me what is REALLY going on. I find out from everyone else and then sit here and laugh internally while you lie to my face. Stop. You’re embarrassing yourself and it’s sad.

(Source: laurakiillz)

Because every time I finally find someone to call my best friend, life happens. And all of a sudden there are 5 million things that need to get done. 

And then finally, I’ll be happy and calm and not busy and by that point, my best friend has a new best friend. I am always getting replaced. :/

I just wish I could be someone’s best friend forever for once. Not just for a little while.

(Source: laurakiillz)

and I realized that I can’t express my feelings on the subject without sounding like a sadistic person. So I am going to attempt to type it out to see if it is possible to explain my feelings on the matter without sounding insane. (Probably won’t work.) 

First of all, let me clarify. War is not a good thing. I do not want us to be in a war. I don’t want soldiers to be fighting and dying in a war. I don’t want people to kill one another. That is not what I mean when I say I like war. 

I mean that I like the sentiment of war. Being a soldier, for example, is something I have a deep respect for. Why? Because in the end, there is always going to be someone fighting for something, you know? That is seemingly inevitable. We are all human. For men and women to go out, risk their lives, and not really expect much in return is so beautiful to me. That requires such a deep humility and selflessness that many people lack in the world. 

I think so many beautiful stories can be told because of war. Can you imagine how many movies that deeply move you that would just NOT EXIST if war didn’t happen? Enemy at the Gate. Saving Private Ryan. Atonement. Act of Valor. Pearl Harbor. Thin Red Line. Battle: LA. The list goes on and on. Stories like that about heart break. About brotherhood. About uniting for a cause. About love despite the circumstance. About respect and loyalty and never giving up. Those are stories that mean something when the world is at stake. And though those stories are horrible. They’re sad. They’re upsetting. They sometimes hurt to watch. They are all beautiful stories. 

So no. War in itself is not a beautiful thing. But the respect. The dedication. The stories. The sacrifice. That is what is beautiful and that is why I like it. 

(Source: laurakiillz)